


Dreamcatchers

by estriel



Series: Returns to TCC [1]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Romance, Toronto Cricket Skating and Curling Club
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 06:31:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20830940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/estriel/pseuds/estriel
Summary: Returning to Cricket Club feels like chasing after a dream that is no longer his to catch.And Yuzu… Yuzu is the worst and best part of all this, of coming back.(Set during Javi's "first comeback" in December 2018.)





	Dreamcatchers

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this sometime in July, but somehow forgot to post it. And recently I wrote a piece that kind of goes in parallel with this, except set during Javi's "second comeback" (now in September 2019), so I figure it would be neat to post them together. (Thus the new "series", even though the pieces can be read independently on one another.)

Returning to Toronto should have felt like coming back home, easy and familiar. And on the surface, Javi supposes it does: everyone greets him with hugs and claps on the shoulder, and the ice feels just right under his feet.

But the return also unsettles him, sitting like a heavy weight in his belly. He doesn’t belong here, not fully, not anymore. This is not his life any longer. It is apparent in the way Tracy and Brian now  _ consult _ rather than bluntly tell him what to do straight away. It is the way the younger kids move out of his way with respect instead of just dodging him the way they would anyone else – well, anyone except Yuzu, who has always been treated that way by the youngsters, like a god-like elder in his own little bubble. Javi wonders if Yuzu has ever felt as lonely, or as isolated, as he himself does now on Cricket ice. Returning to the club feels like chasing after a dream that is no longer his to catch.

And Yuzu… Yuzu is the worst and best part of all this, of coming back.

The worst because he hugs Javi in a way that makes him feel like they are light-years apart – hesitant, like he doesn’t know where to put his hands, like he doesn’t remember how to touch Javi. Cautious.

And the best because the moment Yuzu falls into rhythm with him as they stroke and warm up, Javi feels his discomfort ease, then evaporate completely during their shared session.

This is not his life anymore… But with Yuzu there, always there, even with this new cautiousness, Javi almost wishes it still was.

He thinks initially that it is just about the skating – that Yuzu rekindles something in him Javi thought he had mostly laid aside after PyeongChang. A drive to compete, and win. A desire to push his limits and reach beyond. A need to be  _ better _ .

Then they collide in the locker room, in the cafeteria, in the gym. Javi watches Yuzu peel off his sweaty training top, watches Yuzu ice his ankle with a frown, watches Yuzu smile up at him when Javi joins him at the table as he munches on his cherry tomatoes. And as the uncertainty of their relationship after this break slowly disappears, replaced by the old camaraderie, Javi realizes it is not about the skating. It is, actually, about Yuzu.

Yuzu, who is not a rival anymore and as such doesn’t need to be held at arm’s length. Yuzu, who is now a… possibility. It scares Javi the first time he realizes that his mind has gone  _ there _ without as much as a blink. And the moment his mind does that, it’s like Pandora’s box flies open, and seven years of…  _ something _ come crashing out.

Suddenly, Yuzu’s mouth is all Javi can think of, and his stupid laugh that gets so high-pitched it could be a girl’s, and the way Yuzu will press a finger to his lips when he is lost in thought. And more, so much more, years of images and scents and memories – Yuzu’s warm solid presence in his arms as they hugged, the smell of Yuzu’s hair and skin, the way Yuzu’s hands have always felt so small and delicate in his. The way Yuzu’s muscles move, long and lean and beautiful, when he stretches after practice. The beauty-marks on Yuzu’s back.

Javi has watched him change a thousand times, he  _ knows _ the way Yuzu looks and moves, and yet he never dared let himself think of it until now. That he is gorgeous. That he is sexy. That Javi  _ wants _ him.

And oh, does he want him now.

Now, when they have three weeks – or a little less by now – before their lives part even more significantly than they already have.

Now, when Javi has a girlfriend waiting for him back in Spain.

Now, when he definitely, absolutely cannot have Yuzu.

Now… when he finally notices the way Yuzu looks at him, the way he has been looking at him for years, probably. Like he wants all the things Javi does, too.

He really should have known. And he should have ran before it was too late. But here they are, five days before Javi departs for Minsk. Still at the club, the last ones to leave, the last ones to finish pounding their bodies into shape on the ice. Alone in the locker room.

Javi knows he should walk away, but he can’t. Not when Yuzu looks at him like that, over his shoulder, eyes intense and searching under his fringe. 

He takes a step, two – that’s all it takes to bring him close enough to feel the heat emanating off of Yuzu’s body. Yuzu smells like sweat, musk, and herbal shampoo, the way he always does after practice. Javi can’t think.

“Yuzu – “ he croaks and then his hands are on Yuzu’s face, cradling it, thumbs brushing over Yuzu’s cheeks.

Yuzu draws a breath and his tongue comes out to flick across his bottom lip… That’s it, that’s –

“Please stop me,” Javi whispers, even as he leans in closer, close enough for their noses to touch.

“I don’t want to.” Yuzu says, his breath hot as it ghosts over Javi’s mouth.

Then they are kissing, sinking into one another, and it is  _ everything _ . Yuzu’s lips are soft, so soft, and his tongue slides into Javi’s mouth like it belongs there, his body moulding itself into Javi’s like a missing puzzle piece.

This is his life, should be his life, Javi thinks feverishly as he presses Yuzu against the locker behind him and threads his fingers into Yuzu’s hair.

This  _ will _ be his life, he decides, moaning into Yuzu’s mouth and grinding their hips together.

Because when you catch a dream, you don’t let go. You never let go. 


End file.
